What's your story?

We are products of our environment and of our actions. We become what we think and how we act and what we do. But all of those things can look differently depending on our outlook. So if you want change, change the stories you tell.

Just yesterday I had a client tell me that she needed to see daily progress in order to stay motivated. Efficacy, along with autonomy and community, is a necessary piece of motivational theory. We feel more internally motivated as we increase our ability in a task or habit. But is it necessary? In our investigation of the origin of this idea she likened it to Dave Ramsey’s approach on finance. I’m not super familiar with Dave Ramsey but I know that he bases much of his financial advice on his religious beliefs. Food, like politics, should be free of religion and I strive to keep morality lessons away from dietary recommendations. Save the dogma for church. We need flexibility here. There are no strict rules on how we progress. Progress is dependent on our process.

So why would we tell yourself stories about all the reasons we can fail? Because it gives us an out. When we have reasons to fail it alleviates us of responsibility. We’ve already determined that x y & z are failure points. So when we reach them it becomes another habit. You have created a habit of quitting.

Create a habit of success. Of perseverance. List all of the ways that those obstacles are opportunities. Instead of seeing them as failure points see them as warning signs to double your efforts. See them as a chance to create new habits. See them as change.

There are plenty of people out there selling you stories of why you fail. Because they also want to sell you the solution. And until you realize that only you can be that change, you’ll be a consumer of someone else’s narrative. Choose your own adventure. Create your own journey. Write your own fable. Just be sure that it’s a hero’s journey and not another tragedy about the failure of man.