My struggle

The hardest change for me to make in my own personal life was always that of entitlement. I never felt like I deserved more than anyone else but I always felt like I deserved to be able to do the thing everyone else did without regret, drink.

So while alcohol has always been my Achilles heel it was but a symptom. The real disability was my own rejection of reality; I couldn’t accept the fact that I’m not everyone else. Normally that statement comes with a dose of narcissism, like I’m special so I shouldn’t have to play by the rules. But I craved to be one of the masses who could drink with impunity. I would trade any gift or talent I had for that dose of normalcy.

My desire for normalcy was simply a lack of acceptance. I refused to accept reality for what it was. I fought and fought and lost and lost. Simply because I wanted the world to be something it wasn’t. There’s a reason that 12 step groups start with acceptance. It is an imperative piece to change.

What do you struggle with? What do you have standing in your way? Is it possible that it’s that person in the mirror?

Acceptance is hard. It means we have to play the hand we are dealt and not the hand we want. But it is the first step towards change. And change is what we need.