The simplicity of pros and cons

When I was a child I’d often get stuck on some life-changing (or so I thought) decision. I couldn’t make a decision and as someone who suffered pretty severe OCD my perfectionism paralyzed me. I knew the advice my parents would give but I asked them anyways.

“Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write pros and put every positive of the decision underneath. On the other side write cons and put all the possible negative outcomes under that.”

Who would have thought that 30-odd years later I would be giving the same advice to my clients.

What seems like a simple practice is actually a powerful tool. By creating a pros and cons list we are working on skills. We must observe, then describe, them act. It is both simple and powerful.

I find this practice to be particularly useful in chronic situations. Many of my clients have found that certain times are triggers for emotional or mindless eating. In particular, 4pm getting afternoon snacks prepared for their kids. So when we know that this has a potential for an undesired outcome we can preemptively create our list. In this instance we would do pros and cons for engaging in said behaviors as well as a pros and cons list for opposite action. Tape it to the refrigerator and we have a simple reminder of what the consequences of our actions will be.

Observe and describe your blindspots. Determine the advantages and disadvantages of engaging in behaviors. Then choose based on facts and data rather than emotion and feeling. And remember, Mom was right. Mom was always right.