Shoulda, coulda, woulda

In the animal kingdom there is no opportunity to review “mistakes”. There is life and death. Anything that results in the former is a win. Humans are a unique species in that we can not only review our mistakes but also forecast how the future may have been different had we not made them.

Reviewing our actions is an important aspect of growth and self development. We must use that unique position within the animal kingdom to improve our outcomes by bettering our process. Ruminating on past choices, however, is a fool’s errand.

The past will never change and nothing we can do alters that fact. What might have been, where our progress might have gone, what successes we might have discovered are all fantasies. They don’t matter because they aren’t reality.

If we continue to ruminate in past decisions and live in despair over the future that might have been we are rejecting reality. And in order for change to occur we must practice acceptance. Radical acceptance. Accept where you are, not where you could be.

The reality is that you are where you are because of the choices you have made. Accept that reality and work towards change based on where you are, not where you could be. Stop rejecting reality and living in a false narrative. It’s only impeding your growth. Be proud of where you are and the lessons you’ve learned. After all, as humans we are the only species privileged enough to be able to learn from our mistakes. In the wild, the penalty is death.