Self compassion

Self-compassion isn't absolving responsibility. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Self-compassion begins w/ accepting our own role in matters. Then resolving to move forward w/ forgiveness.

When fitness people talk about behavior things can get weird… (the irony of this blog is not lost on me)

The shares I see tend to come from one branch of IG psychology that has made a couple of practitioners particularly popular among the fitpro crowd. The premise is that environment isn’t that important and personal responsibility is all that matters.

This is part of the corrupting power of social media popularity. I’ve watched these psychologists abandon their prior experience and the overwhelming research to instead preach a message of bootstrapping and moralistic determinations on behavior. They’ve transitioned from agnostic humanism to dogmatic religiosity.

It’s damaging when you’re approaching behavior change. This idea that self-compassion is “weakness” or “soft” or “excuses” is ridiculous. Acceptance is far more challenging than just “trying harder”. It’s also effective.

One of the most successful nutritional interventions in the past decade was one that utilized Acceptance Based Therapy as the tool. The Mind Your Health trial by Foreman et al showed improved results in weight loss and subsequent management when utilizing an acceptance-based approach vs standard behavioral treatment for obesity. And both of these approaches are far better than traditional diets w/ no behavioral coaching in terms of long term management.

That’s not to say there’s no place for personal responsibility. You will need to accept responsibility in order to accept reality. However, ignoring the myriad of external influences that have led you to where you are is also ignorance of reality. What has happened to you is not your fault. How you deal with it is your responsibility.

TLDR; shaming yourself and living in the past will only exacerbate the behaviors you are trying to extinguish. Accept your role, forgive your past self, and lol forward with intent and values-based goals. That is self-compassion. Regardless of the narrative the “just be disciplined” crowd would rather believe.