Tough conversations

We all crave comfort. We all crave homeostasis. We don’t want to rock the boat. But that’s never going to improve our lives. That’s never going to improve our relationships. That’s never going to help us to grow. Sometimes, we need to lean into discomfort.

I used to avoid difficult conversations. I figured it was easier to just let things slide and avoid confrontation because in my life confrontation was always about anger and distrust. Yet confrontation can also come from a place of love. Avoiding a tough conversation can be just as malevolent as the harshest spoken word.

Honesty and transparency can sometimes be difficult to hear and also to deliver. But if we truly care for one another we must be willing to both listen and speak truthfully. We must be willing to engage in these tough conversations without judgement or anger. We can use compassion and adult empathy to direct our dialogue.

I think back to the times that people stepped up to talk to me about my addiction. It would have been easier to avoid it, or even to yell and scream and accuse. But they were patient and compassionate and honest. That honesty was brutal but effective. The truth hurts but it will set us free.

Stop being afraid of discomfort. Stop being afraid of honesty. Stop being afraid of the truth. And start having those tough conversations. In fact, start with yourself. I’m sure we all have one or two to have with that person in the mirror.