Is it necessary to comment?

The foundation of the FOTM principles is relationships. While we place a strong emphasis on relationship with self and relationship with food, relationships with others are also vitally important. We’ve seen the research that shows how fundamental social interaction is with mental health and, in turn, longevity. Your relationships are likely just as important to your health as your exercise and nutrition. They may be more important. Yet I see so many people struggle with interpersonal relationships, particularly online.

Before you comment or speak or opine, stop. What is your purpose? What is the end goal? Most of what I see is just jockeying to be the most right on the Internet. Whether it be in a political fight (human rights aren’t politics so I’m still cool with calling people out on that bullshit) or about who’s diet is better or another beneficiary of survivorship bias trumpeting the way to be successful, the online space is rife with those who feel the need to speak. Are you contributing or just contributing to the noise?

And... the verbal masturbator. You know the one, just stroking their oratory ego for hours while saying absolutely nothing that couldn’t have been said better in a 3 line email. It’s usually someone with zero self-awareness yet seemingly well intentioned. Definitely reads all the slides aloud. *while it may sound like this is about my overly loquacious ass, it is rather a composite stereotype. I’m self aware enough to know I talk too much. I’m working on it.

It’s particularly striking that in the fitness and nutrition spheres, in particular, there is so much of this behavior. In a population that trumpets the benefits of compassion and empathy and discipline and strength, very few embody these traits in their communication. As I’ve written before, is it more important to be effective or right?

If you want to be a better friend or partner or boss or employee, pay more attention to what you say and how you say it. Are you adding value or just pulling out your measuring tape? Because there’s always gonna be someone with a bigger... tape. Just like there’s always gonna be someone smarter or tougher. And in this game, even when you win you lose. I don’t like those odds.

Be intentional with your words. Be intentional with your actions. And instead of always looking to be right, look to be effective. There’s a reason Dale Carnegie still sells a lot of books. Relationships matter. A lot. And not just for social jockeying. They just might help you live a little bit longer. And better. And that’s worth taking a minute to stfu when you don’t have anything nice to say.