"Why are you this way?"

In the golden age of memes, we find ourselves sharing phraseology with a wide range of ages. I’m guessing. Maybe not. Maybe when I say things like this I just expose myself as an old out of touch dork. Or as my friend Alec once reprimanded me, “that’s not a meme you adorable boomer.”

Regardless, this phrase “why are you this way?” is comic gold. It has an inherent tone, even in writing, that expresses the seriousness and levity of the current situation. Especially within the context of societal behaviors around the pandemic.

With the advent of a vaccine we are all breathing a collective sigh of relief; soon this global nightmare may finally end. Unfortunately, things won’t change for quite a while. We will still

Need to socially distance and wear masks for the foreseeable future. Yet many will still resist, prolonging spikes and potentially causing new ones leading to further lockdowns. Things we likely could have avoided had we followed these simple precautions. But those who have been hurt the worst economically are the most adamant that they will not abide by this authoritarian abuse of power. And the rest of us sit baffled.

One of the great gifts of my decades of acting training was learning to understand motivation. Why would a character choose to act in a certain way? Why would someone act against their own interest? How do you play a great villain? Well that last question is a simple answer; you don’t. A villain never thinks themselves a villain. They are the hero of their story. It’s the same with those voices who are railing against things like science and technology.

The stages of change state that we very rarely engage in behavior change. In fact, it’s only about 20% of the process that actually is involved in action. When looking at the behaviors around Covid, it can be very helpful to view them through this behavioral lens. To view people as they view themselves. To understand their fears. Seek first to understand...

I work every day with people who desperately want change in their lives. Yet, they will refuse to do anything that will help them to achieve their goals. They will engage daily in behaviors that move them further from what they say they want. They will literally do everything they can to sabotage their results. Yet they really have no idea. They are just not ready for change.

So when you find yourself staring in disbelief over the seeming ignorance and selfishness of our fellow man, understand that they see themselves quite differently. And they are afraid. Afraid of change. Afraid of “other”. Afraid of science. Instead of berating them for their behaviors try to understand them and find compassion for their situation. And if that doesn’t work, at least you’ve got a legitimate reason to stay away.