Why do we self sabotage?

I saw this question posed by a client of mine on Facebook and it’s one that I see/hear quite often. We often want a reason behind our behaviors. Simple answers. An explanation that shifts responsibility from us and onto some greater truth. One that if we only understood would change everything. But it’s just not that easy. Below was my response:

“There's no one answer. The behaviors one engages in are dictated by a number of factors from genetics to epigenetics to early childhood development to trauma response to any number of environmental factors that change every single potential variable. So figuring that out will take time. It is a worthwhile investment of time and money and it's why I have a therapist. In the context of nutrition, and within our scope of practice, I would spend my time instead investing in how to prevent or work past these moments.

Long before Newton defined what we now know as gravity, Da Vinci came up with plans for a flying machine. Instead of trying to figure out the why behind the laws of nature he worked on a solution to overcome them. 200 years before Newton's Laws. While he didn't succeed, the structure was there for how to overcome a seemingly impossible task.

While that might be an extreme example I think it does a great job in illustrating how we can easily hamstring our successes by focusing on why we fail rather than how we can succeed.”

This all comes back to my issues with “the why”. Now, this isn’t to say that we shouldn’t know and understand why we are doing something. That’s vitally important. But spending your time and energy focused on some overarching reason behind everything you do is a fool’s errand. You’ll never know.

Don’t let your search for the why stop you from searching for how to overcome. You may never know your why (other than the great why which is procreation). Don’t let some existential thought process stop you from action. Find out how to overcome your challenges and you will likely find your why.