Tough love

So often people I work with say they need some “tough love”. My response is always that I don’t do “tough love”. It’s senseless. I watch people beat themselves up and punish themselves over and over for mistakes they’ve made or slip ups that have occurred in their nutrition; the last thing anyone needs is someone else telling them they’ve screwed up. In addition, how well has the self flagellation worked up to this point?

But in the interest of placating those who want some reality sprinkled into their day, here are some generalized truths that sound like tough love.

1. Tough love from another is just a way to avoid accountability. Looking to an external source to do the work for you. Me telling you you are screwing up doesn’t change anything. Just adds more shame to a process which should alleviate suffering, not exacerbate it.

2. The Universe isn’t here to make your life easier. Waiting for it to change will be a long run. You’re gonna have to be the one that changes. Or you can just wait around forever.

3. Genetics help. But you can’t change yours. Deal with it.

4. Wishing your life was easier won’t make it so. Our struggles are what define us. So either get to work or keep wishing your life away.

5. “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” Life ain’t easy. Staying miserable is a choice. Your choice. What happened to you in life is not your fault. However, how you deal with it is your responsibility.

6. You have more time than you think. You just aren’t prioritizing what needs to be to succeed. Scrolling social media, watching Netflix, and football Sundays are fun but you can easily find 15-30 minutes in there to plan your food and prep some chicken.

7. Seven days a week of HIIT or bootcamp might be making your fat loss harder, not easier. Rest days, traditional resistance training, and more walking are what you need. Not just more sweat and burn.

8. Peanut butter is not a protein source.

9. Nobody cares what your body fat percentage is. The mirror, your performance in the gym, and how you feel are way more important metrics than some test that is wildly inaccurate.

10. You can do this. It might be hard. It might suck at times. Just don’t give up before the magic happens.