Invalidation

As a follow up to yesterday’s post on validation and using it to improve our interpersonal relationships, we must also explore the ways invalidation can affect how we interact. Invalidation can be both helpful and harmful, as always it’s context dependent.

Invalidation is important in conversation when there are assertions which are not valid. It is not necessary to validate falsehoods, untruths, or inaccuracies even while validating feelings or behaviors. This is especially important when the relationship is professional in nature. My growth both academically and professionally is reliant on my peers being honest and direct if I am presenting something with questionable validity.

However if we invalidate things which are valid, such as emotions and thoughts, we destroy our ability to create and maintain better relationships. Invalidation causes pain, creates an “us vs them” mentality, and denigrates people’s social standing. It creates inequality.

When we invalidate we risk perpetuating power imbalances and outdated structural norms. When we are invalidated we feel ignored and misunderstood and trivialized.

Invalidation is important for growth when properly applied. When improperly applied it causes hurt and severs interpersonal connections and perpetuates injustice. None of us want that.

If you are questioning whether or not you are invalidating or being invalidated just remember the Golden Rule: Don’t be a dick.